Group+Three+-+Paragraph+Two

WANG HONGRUI 1743412 children's diet Secondly, there are a growing number of children becoming obesity in the world. Majority of overweight children have poor eating habits. The main problem is nowadays parents are too busy to deal with their work, they cannot find enough time to cook and provide a healthy diet for their children. As a consequence, children tend to eat fast foods and high fat food more frequently than before. Family plays an important role during children’s growth. Hence, parents need to help their children to realize the importance of a balanced diet and a healthy weight. As reported by Wiley (2002) overweight individuals may have a high risk of chronic disease (high blood pressure and heart disease) and tend to live shorter than others. (p.130) Meanwhile, the duty of parents is teaching and guiding their children how to choose health food. Wiley (2002)states that there are four groups of healthy food( vegetables, grains, beans and fruits) which are able to maintain children’s need.(p.102) Finally, parents need to spend enough time to prepare a healthy meal for their children. In order to allow children to develop the habit of eating healthy, it may be helpful for them to have a balance diet in their future life.

Reference Wiley, J. (2002). //Healthy eating for life for children.//New York: Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine.

Secondly, there are a growing number of children becoming overweight in the world, particularly majority of overweight children have poor eating habits. The main problem is nowadays parents are too busy to deal with their work, they cannot find enough time to cook and provide a healthy diet for their children. As a consequence, children tend to eat fast foods and high fat food more frequently than before. Parents play a crucial role in shaping children’s behavior ; hence, they need to help their children to realize the significance of a balanced diet and a healthy weight. As reported by Wiley (2002) overweight individuals may have a high risk of chronic disease (high blood pressure and heart disease) and tend to live shorter than others. (p.130) So, it is essential for children to keep themselves in shape. Moreover, the duty of parents is teaching and providing guidance for their children to choose healthy food. Wiley(2002)states that there are four groups of healthy food( vegetables, grains, beans and fruits) which are good to maintain children’s need and health.(p.102) Therefore, during youngsters daily life parents need to spend enough time to prepare a healthy meal for them. In order to allow children to develop a habit of eating healthy food, it may be helpful for them to have a balance diet in their future life.

Fatima:
 * I think the first sentence(which suppose to be the topic sentence is a pit short),so it might be a good idea to join the first 2 sentences.
 * in the 5th sentence, should it be Family **play** instead of Family **plays ?**
 * 6th** sentence to avoid repetition of importance can you use another synonyms like : essential, crucial, vital, nobility.
 * 6th also I'm not sure, can we say healthy weight ?? it does not sound good for me.

Daisy: yep, i have join the first two sentences together. and about "plays" i have changed it. um, importance is a noun which cannot be replaced by adj, but maybe i can find another word how about "significance"?. tnx

Eunice: the word obesity in the first sentence should be obese. And i dont think you need 'to' before the realize in the 6th sentence. And add in 'be' after 'may' of the last sentence :)

Daisy: thank you Eunice.... i agree with your suggestion about may be,and i have changed the word obesity to overweight, but i still think i the word "to" is useful :p